Waiting for the right moment and the first raindrop.
Do you know what it’s like waiting for the world to stop? Waiting for the right moment and the first raindrop? Its hard waking every morning to my same old empty verve, knowing that today will be the same. Is this really what I deserve? The rain falls to the ground as do the tears in my eyes, while a piece of me slowly begins to die. Do you know what it’s like, listening to the rain drop? Listening to the silence and hearing my heart stop?
I’ve been wanting to make a gif and cinemagraphs but don’t have time to do so. Plus, lack of inspiration. Well, ever thanks to this song for driving me to picked up my camera and took short videos of rain outside. I’ve been feeling distressed lately, uncontrollable mixed emotions that brought me sleepless nights. It’s like, I’m on this road less traveled, standing in front of the intersection alone, don’t know which way to go. I just thank God for not leaving my side in times of troubles, and when the ones I thought would never leave me stranded proved me wrong. I’m just praying that tomorrow when I wake up, I’m on the right side of the bed. And the morning light will give me a reason to believe, and things to hope for.
Took one look and I shattered like glass.
I just wanna get away with these feelings and move on… I gotta keep moving on… Maybe after all of these, I’ll meet happiness once again. And every tear, every pain, every suffering will be all worth it. Right now, I don’t want people to ask me “why” or “what’s wrong”, I just need someone to tell me that everything’s gonna be okay…
Painful memories, let me get over you, but let me keep the lessons that you taught me, and use it in coming circumstances and trials along the way.
This is failure. It’s that moment when you realize that a choice you made, or something you did, has fully changed the course of your life. But what matters even more than this truth is what you do choose to do once you know it. The tendency may be to curl up in the fetal position and wait for things to improve. But if you can somehow manage to take a breath and look around you, you might just spot another path you hadn’t seen before. It may not be easy to walk, especially the beginning. But all that really matters is that it’s there.
“I will write peace on your wings and you will fly all over the world..”
May is almost here, and before we knew it, it’s Christmas Season again! Heh~ (Christmas? Agad Agad?!)（＾ｖ＾）Anyway, as for this year, if all things go as planned, I might accomplish a lot of things. Just like the song goes… Step by step, I’ll move forward.
Exciting events this summer:
- Night Swimming(s)! （＾_＾）
- Youth Summer Camp! ワーイ♪♪＼(^ω^＼)( /^ω^)/♪♪ワーイ
- La Union Trip! v(*’-^*)-☆
- Vigan trip! I hope it goes as planned though. *think positive* (^ω^)
- Going back to hospital as a nurse. Probably June. I really hope so.
- That means having two jobs at the same time if ever. Or if they permit. (ーー;)
- Going back to School, and take any Engineering or Computer course.
- Being a student at night or during weekends is not a bad idea, right? (*^▽^*)
- Pursue the business that I’ve been planning for ages already.
May God help me all through out this year. I know he will. And may I add to the list my precious boy(?) Ehhhyyyy.. (#^.^#)<3
P.S. Sorry for excessive using of emoticons. I beg for your forgiveness. Peace! (^з^)-☆
Get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.
Went somewhere quiet and nice this afternoon and had some time with myself. It’s been so long since I think and stare in nowhere. Time runs so fast, and I’m having a hard time to cope up. People know me for being the optimistic person. I don’t let bad things get in to me. Throughout these years, I learnt to always look and see clearly both sides of the road. Take left if left is better than right, and vice versa. That’s one of the few of my simple rules in life. Right now, I don’t feel lost, or empty, it’s just that… it feels that…. something is missing. Oh! Cliche as it may sound, but that is. It’s like I am running as fast as the ticking of the clock but something part of me was left behind.
But after today.. I feel more relaxed. And while sitting on the grass, I realized something.. I don’t need to hurry. Life happens, enjoy it! Feel it. And be sensible enough for the great things that may come our way. And I also realized that maybe, I was just feeling a little scared to make mistakes. But mistakes happen for a reason. So it’s okay. It happens to teach you a lesson you would otherwise never learn. Ugh! Life is beautiful! So I should be happy! Dear me, Smile! :)
Random Photos: March 29, 2012
This is failure. It’s that moment when you realize that a choice you made, or something you did, has fully changed the course of your life. But what matters even more than this truth is what you do choose to do once you know it. The tendency may be to curl up in the fetal position and wait for things to improve. But if you can somehow manage to take a breath and look around you, you might just spot another path you hadn’t seen before. It may not be easy to walk, especially the beginning. But all that really matters is that it’s there.
Memories are the best souvenirs…
I’ve been doing this diary thingy since time immemorial. It’s not like I really write my everyday activity but I really made sure that important memories are well kept. Our temporal lobe can only handle so much, our memories might fade not unless you have something to read about your past. Something that can remind you about the people you meet in this lifetime and the lessons they gave you. When I was younger, I even tried making a list of names of all the people I know or let me say I consider as friends. But I lost track along the way. I was thinking, when I die, I want this list to be in my coffin, so these people will know that I truly cherish them deep down in my heart. And for these thought, it might left a mark not only in their hearts, but also in their souls. I am so melodramatic (almost sounds lunatic), I know, but yeah, I am that kind of person.
SOMETIMES
Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and not worry about what happens.
Sometimes words are not enough to make someone feel that you care for them. Sometimes, it needs a little effort to convince them you really care.
Sometimes people decide to just be friends, even if their feeling is mutual. Not because love is hard to sustain, but because commitment complicates everything.
Sometimes your heart knows things your mind can’t explain.
Sometimes you just got to know when enough is enough and let it go and move on. Then they’ll realize you’re not the person they thought you were. You’re better.
Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, you have to just give it up. It just isn’t worth the heartache. One day, they’ll regret that they lost you.
Sometimes life’s not fair, but if you hang in there you’re gonna see that sometimes bad is good. We just have to believe things work out like they should.
Sometimes when you are just trying to live normally, you’ll pass by or think about a certain place that makes you remember everything, everything that makes you want to stop living. And you try to convince yourself not to give up. Not again.
Sometimes it’s easier to pretend you don’t care,than to admit it’s killing you.
Sometimes when you imagine a perfect guy, you realize you described a guy you’ve known forever.
Sometimes we’re too into the moment to look at the bigger picture. We fail to see things in perspective because we’re too absorbed in what’s taking place at that very instant. The thing is, we should face reality. Because sometimes being realistic can save us from pain and disappointment.
Sometimes you have to fail to realize how far from the bottom you are.
Sometimes someone comes along and makes you forget someone else. Remember, they’re not better, they’re just different.
Sometimes I see reasons aren’t really reasons. Sometimes they’re just stupid, nonsense, never ending excuses.
Sometimes you imagine that everything could have been different for you, that if only you had gone right one day when you chose to go left, you would be living a life you could never have anticipated. but at other times, you think there was no other way forward - that you were always bound to end up exactly where you have.
Sometimes you don’t want to know the truth. You may think you do, but once you know, you’d give just about anything to go back to being oblivious.
sometimes you have to realize that some people will stay in your heart, just not in your life.
Sometimes we expect more from others, because we would be willing to do the same for them
Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.
What faith can do..
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do…
Those times that you feel like you’re not doing the right things, or you’re existence is not worthy enough to stay alive (?) Sometimes, you want something. Or you want to go somewhere. But you don’t know what to do for that to be dome or you don’t know where to start to get there. It seems like they are just hopeless dreams. You feel so lost. And that’s me sometimes. But I always remind myself that The Author of my life is writing great things for me. I just have to listen. Listen carefully. Start moving. And keep my faith.
P.S. I really love that song. (What Faith Can Do by Kutless) And while writing this entry I remember that I once wrote those lines in my journal.
It’s kind of crappy but whatever, I love those lines. Anyway, the photograph is for my sky theraphy blog. If you love the perfect canvas of all time which is the sky, you can enjoy that blog with me. <3
It’s not like it’s the end of the world. Things will get better for you I promise. Don’t doubt yourself. Go for the things that make you happy and leave behind the things that don’t.
All I can hear in the silence that remains are the words I couldnt say.
Before drinking my glass of milk before bed time. Click Click Click~ And yes, I still drink milk, because my beloved motha always forced me to do so. Laking Nido ako. :))
It’s been so long since the last time I took pictures of myself. Self-portraits, where art joo!(?) Whenever I’m on a bus and see nice scenery, ideas pop out of my head in instant but once I got home, can’t dig them anymore. I guess, that’s the problem, my ideas don’t last long. It’s like fart, it comes and go. LOL~
In a book, in a box, in the closet, in a line, in a song, I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon…
Everyone has someone in their life that keeps them looking forward to another day.
Gloomy friday. I had to wait for half an hour to finally have a good sky view. I needed to see some of that bluish sky. Sky Theraphy. :)
Went to Jose Rizal Institute to take pictures of my nephew’s presentation. I was half-awake and half-asleep. The sun hardly shone but it was warm, and yet drizzling. Weird weather, more fun in the Philippines! LOL~
Just because I like to take pictures of my feet where I am standing or sitting at. I guess, I have to put them up all together for remembrance (?)
I need you to know today, I’ll wait for you always…
An old photo from my unfinished Project 365 a couple of years ago. The description goes like this..
I took the photo at the park late this afternoon. Sometimes, it’s just so good to sit there and look up and see the beauty hanging just above you. How funny that most people look under because they are too afraid to get tripped or something. Not knowing that getting tripped along the way is part of this life, but looking at ordinary things and see the beautiful side of it is something else.. Hope you get what I mean. Xoxo.
The movie “ADAM” brought me that song. Wonderful movie, with wonderful soundtracks. And after all these years, I still listen to the song, and just like the old days, I still feel warm inside everytime I hear it. Waiting. The word can bring, happiness, sadness and never ending hope. I don’t know about the thoughts of others about this. But, for me, sometimes, waiting is such a lonely word. Especially, if you are uncertain for that one thing you’ve been waiting for to come all your life will really be there someday. On the other hand, waiting can also be a gift. It test our patience and determination. Just like what the wise men say, “Patience is a virtue”. And remember, “Best things come to those who wait”. You can read a book, meet new people, go nature hiking, do whatever that makes you happy while waiting. I think, what I am trying to say is, you can choose to suffer and be lonely, but you can also choose to live your life happily while waiting for that magical moment/person/thing to come along your way.
And as for me, I am waiting for someday.. :)
Spark Change.
We had our Bataan Youth Acquaintance Fellowship today. Today was a great and blessed day for me. I’ve come to meet new people, learn new lessons in life, meditate with myself and refresh my spirit. The Guest Speaker was one of the best I’ve met so far. Maybe because he was young and can really relate to youth. He knows the youth rituals and the mainstream, so it was easy to listen.
Serve God. Speak Life. Spark Change. It’s POWERFUL. I feel so ashamed, because most of the time, I fail God. But, today, I feel rejuvenated and it was like falling in love with Jesus all over again. <3
Hello there! Haha! Anyway, I got to meet my virtual friend Mark in this event. But we didn’t know that I was the girl he knew, and I didn’t know also that he was the Mark I knew in some circumstances where in we bumped into each other. Funny. Then he messaged me asking if I was there, I said yes. And found out that he was there also. “ahhh okay i see.. stripe short hair sexy body… simple attire.. very good…” And that’s how he described me. I am not sure if he’s insulting me or whatnot. LOL! Anyway, it was fun that we finally met though, but not in the real sense of the word ‘met’. Heh!
And ofc! The group picture! :) Activities like this always end up with singing the National Anthem ng mga Kristyano which is ‘One Way’. Hahaha! I swear, it’s always like that. :)
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